Archives for October 2019

No one is busier than a full-time working parent. The demands on your time are incessant, every daily decision important, and the burden of responsibility can feel overwhelming. The demands of “having-it-all” can drive parents to take financially risky measures, such as cutting an entire salary so that one parent can stay at home with the kids. But not everyone can afford such an option.

If you’re feeling the heat, check out these 7 ways to help balance life, work, and parenting.

Stagger Work Schedules
Two-parent families may be able to ease the madness by staggering their work schedules. If your employers allow the change, the parents will get more one-on-one time with the kids and maybe save on commutes, as well.

Develop A Strong, Trusted Network Of Childcare
Finding a great nanny, after-school mother’s helper, neighborhood babysitter, and/or daycare center may take some time, trial, and error. But if you develop a network of people available to pitch in, you’ll be less stressed when (inevitably) plans go awry and you need to find someone quick.

Be Frank With Your Employer
Don’t make a secret of your scheduling requirements. Let your boss know what your constraints are, whether it’s leaving at a certain time to pick up your child from school, or taking off the first Tuesday of every month for sports-related demands. Offer up how you intend to make up the time, and stick to your promises.

Catch Up During Lunch Breaks
Use lunch breaks to tackle paperwork and errands, such as picking up a prescription, posting a letter, filling out school paperwork, making doctor appointments, writing a list of questions for your parent/teacher conference, calling your own mother, etc.

Have Everything Delivered
Technology saves time and often money, too. Arrange for your dry cleaning and laundry to be picked up and dropped off at your home. Do your food shopping online and have it brought to your door. Shop for gifts on the internet, where many vendors offer gift-wrapping and free direct delivery to the recipient. Take care of as may errands as possible during the week so that you can play with your kids on the weekend, rather than drag them around to stores.

Set Up A Schedule
Set up a large calendar in a centrally-located area where everyone can write in their schedules, from travel-team games, PTA meetings, project due dates, special events, trips to the physician, etc. Every Sunday, review the calendar with the whole family to make sure all arrangements for travel and childcare can be met.

Roll With It
For busy working parents, balance is always a challenge. Worrying that you’re not handling it well is part of the process. Life is imperfect, messy, and your time as an active working parent is (relatively speaking) brief. Strive to accept the limitations of time and energy and don’t berate yourself if you feel you’re falling short. Remember, tomorrow is another day.

The holidays are supposed to be warm, glorious periods of reconnecting with friends and family, embracing gratitude, and enjoying the sights, scents, and unique sensibilities of the season. But the increased expectations, heightened frenzy of events, and unwitting pressure to be merry and bright can exacerbate depression and especially anxiety.

With the holidays on the way, how can you prepare for the inevitable stress?

Take Control Of Your Schedule
Gatherings with family and friends can be lovely, but if the amount of social obligations is choking you, consider paring them down. You don’t have to attend every party to which you’re invited. You may annoy a relative or two, but you can always promise another meet-up when the busy holidays have passed. Your mental health deserves consideration. ‘No’ is a very liberating word.

Also reconsider all expectations. Just because you threw a fabulous dinner party during the last holiday season doesn’t mean you’re obligated to throw one this year. If the neighborhood crowd still wants to get together, maybe it’s time for someone else to host the event.

Plan Ahead
During the holiday season, you’re likely to spend a lot of time hunting down gifts for your family and friends and holiday exchanges. If the crush of the shopping mall gives you anxiety, consider the many options to browse online. Also start a gift list and shop early. Those who complete their gift-buying by Thanksgiving remove a lot of stress from the winter holidays.

Don’t Overindulge
Food and drink tend to flow during the holidays, but over-indulging is likely to make you feel worse in the long run. Lowering anxiety means keeping on an even keel, so consider making a concerted effort to limit your alcohol and rum-ball intake during those holiday parties.

Keep Up The Good Workout
Although it may be hard, maintaining a regular sleep and exercise schedule can also help lessen anxiety during the holiday season. Your body needs the endorphins to lower cortisol and adrenaline and thus keep anxiety at bay.

Anticipate Friction
The most difficult source of holiday anxiety isn’t always about over-scheduling and overindulging. Just getting together with family can stir up a lot of conflicted feelings.

If you have unresolved, underlying issues with people you only see during the holidays, you’re likely to become anxious about the inevitable contact during the season. No amount of preparation can shield you from every difficult situation, but you can control how you react to it.

It’s good advice to keep your expectations low and embrace the spirit of kindness and charity. Few big issues are ever resolved in high-stress, compressed-time gatherings. If you must attend an event that is likely to erupt, prepare for the possibility of escape if anxiety reaches a fever pitch.

Easing anxiety during the holiday season doesn’t just have to be about cutting back on social events and obligations. Another way to lessen stress is to plan to do more of what you love, whether it be cooking, getting a quick coffee with an old friend, or singing in a choir. Joy is a wonderful antidote to anxiety.