Archives for 2019

Experiencing depression in the winter is more common than you think. If cloudy skies and chilling temperatures have you down, try these tips to start feeling sunny again.

Get More Sunshine
The main cause of seasonal affective disorder is a lack of exposure to sunlight. The days get shorter in the winter, and in New York, the sun tends to disappear behind a cloud. This lack of sunlight can ruin your sleep cycle and dampen your mood.

The only real solution is to get as much sunlight as possible. Try going for a walk first thing in the morning to get the most benefits – it will set the right tone for the rest of your day.

Dress for the Weather
People tend to stay inside in the winter to avoid the cold. But since going outside is vital for your mental health, you’ll need to come up with a compromise.

This winter, make sure that you have all of the cold-weather gear you could want. Get warm boots, soft mittens, and a fuzzy hat that makes you smile. Don’t be afraid to bundle up behind your scarf; your eyes will absorb all the sunlight you need.

Buy a Light Therapy Box
Sometimes, morning walks just aren’t enough. That’s why many people with SAD turn to light therapy boxes for extra UV light. You can find light boxes in all shapes and sizes, so try placing one on your desk or next to your favorite place on the couch. Take a mini light bath every day to keep your spirits up.

Eat a Healthy Diet
Eating the right foods can help improve your overall mood. In particular, you’re looking to eat more Vitamin B12 and omega fats. This translates to enjoying fruits, vegetables, meats, and cheeses.

In addition to the healthy stuff, treat yourself to a few things that you know you love. Nothing cures a bad mood quite like a little dark chocolate or a nice latte.

Adopt a Houseplant
Keeping a plant in your house can actually help cure depression. If you need a reason to pull through in the winter months, caring for a new spider plant might be the perfect solution. The plant will help purify the stale winter air in your home, and you’ll have something to do while you’re stuck inside.

Spend Time Doing What You Love
It’s really easy to let the stresses of winter pull you away from your hobbies and friends. Social interaction is important, and so is fulfilling your goals. Whatever you like to do, make sure that you take the time to do it. It’s okay to go at a slower pace if you don’t feel as enthusiastic as normal.

Winter happens every year, so don’t let yourself dread the change in mood. Instead, recognize that your drop in energy is a natural result of the seasonal cycle, and take steps to keep yourself feeling safe and relaxed.

Time is finite; work is infinite. Therein lies the basic conflict that causes the lion’s share of stress in the workplace. On-the-job pressure can’t be avoided, but fortunately, there are ways to manage it. Check out these five strategies to fight stress at work.

Start The Day Right
A day’s beginning often predicts the day’s end. If you begin your morning by waking up late, dressing in haste, skipping breakfast, and rushing to catch a train, you’re going to arrive at your workplace hungry, anxious, and frazzled.

Consider shifting your sleep schedule an hour earlier than usual. The extra time in will allow you to get ready at your own pace, run an extra mile, eat breakfast, prepare yourself a healthy lunch, and arrive at work refreshed and ready to tackle your to-do list.

Confirm What Is Expected Of You
Stress is often the child of uncertain expectations. If you’re unsure of the extent of your responsibilities at work, you’ll remain in a perpetual state of anxiety. If you’re a perfectionist, you’ll likely overcompensate, which can lead to burn-out.

Keep the lines of communication open with your supervisor. Talk out the issues that concern you with your boss. Be clear about deadlines and the nature of the work product expected, so you can focus on priorities.

Keep A To-Do List
Organization is key when you’re juggling multiple projects and deadlines. Take advantage of technology (phone reminder apps, online calendars, etc.) to keep track of appointments, meetings, and upcoming deadlines. When it comes to large projects, break them down into a series of smaller goals that can be handled deftly in an hour, a day, or a week. Agree to delegate portions, if possible. Having a road map of what needs to be done can ease mounting tension.

Sleep, Eat, Play
When you’re writing your to-do list, include a solid eight hours of sleep and some time to exercise, even if it’s only a turn around the block during your lunch hour. Eat nutritious meals in reasonable intervals and avoid too much sugar and caffeine. Stress is more easily managed when you’re feeling fit, fed, and well-rested.

Customize Your Work Space
Everyone works differently. Some people focus best amid noise and chaos. Others need noise-cancelling headphones to concentrate on the task at hand. If your office space is cold, leave a sweater at work. If hot, bring in a small fan. If your job allows it, consider an ergonomic chair, a standing desk, or a keyboard constructed to stave off carpal tunnel syndrome.

In the end, relieving stress depends on your ability to pinpoint the origin, and then embrace healthy ways to cope. If all else fails, consider meditation, listening to music rather than news during your morning commute, engaging in group sports, etc., until you find what works best for you.

Bullying in schools is as prevalent as it ever was, maybe more so now that society has evolved a greater awareness of the potential long-term harm to the victims. Between 1 in every 3 to 1 in every 4 students say that they’ve been bullied in school, which makes the chances of it happening disturbingly common.

So what can a parent do?

Know If Your Child Is Being Bullied
Bullied children are often so upset or even ashamed by the bullying that they may be unlikely to tell you exactly what is going on, even when you ask directly.

Keeping communication open between you and your child is always a healthy first step. But you may also have to keep an eye out for changes in behavior that could indicate a problem. Children who are bullied may:

• Say “I don’t want to go to school today.”
• Rush home to use the bathroom because they’re too scared to enter the lavatory at school.
• Engage in cutting or other forms of self-mutilation.
• Try to hide, or make excuses for, bruises or cuts from physical attacks.
• Avoid social interaction by staying at home after school and in the evenings.
• Complain of headaches, stomachaches, etc.

Bullying Comes In Many Forms
The classic image of bullying is a picture of a smaller child being pushed around by a scrum of bigger kids. But bullying can take many forms, some of them subtle and difficult to prove. It can include name-calling, spreading rumors, exclusion from social groups, or cyber-bullying. How you help your child deal with the bullying depends in part on the nature of it.

Physical attacks should be addressed immediately by alerting the teacher, the school, and the relevant authorities. Physical assault is a crime.

Cyber-bullying has become more and more prevalent. One hurtful remark may not indicate a problem, but frequent and intentional attacks are red flags. In these cases:

• Encourage your child not to react to hurtful comments or retaliate online.
• Take screen shots of the behavior to preserve a record.
• Block the bully on social media.
• Address the parents of the child, if known.
• If the bully is in school with the child, alert the teacher in case the harassment also occurs off-line.
• Encourage your child to take a break from social media.

Whispers of rumors, exclusion from groups, and cruelly casual teasing can be the hardest sort of bullying to address. It’s a complex problem with no easy answers. Some techniques that can help include:

• Build your child’s confidence by encouraging positive friendships outside school.
• Keep open the lines of communication so your child feels loved, not isolated.
• Role-play bullying situations to brainstorm effective responses, such as disarming a bully with humor, learning to brush off the remarks, and strengthening your child’s sense of self-worth.
• If bullying persists, address the situation with the teacher, principal, and the parents of the major offenders.

Perhaps the best but hardest way to reduce bullying is to encourage your child to recognize harassment when it is happening to others. When kids stand together peacefully against unacceptable behavior, bullies just may be forced to change.

No one is busier than a full-time working parent. The demands on your time are incessant, every daily decision important, and the burden of responsibility can feel overwhelming. The demands of “having-it-all” can drive parents to take financially risky measures, such as cutting an entire salary so that one parent can stay at home with the kids. But not everyone can afford such an option.

If you’re feeling the heat, check out these 7 ways to help balance life, work, and parenting.

Stagger Work Schedules
Two-parent families may be able to ease the madness by staggering their work schedules. If your employers allow the change, the parents will get more one-on-one time with the kids and maybe save on commutes, as well.

Develop A Strong, Trusted Network Of Childcare
Finding a great nanny, after-school mother’s helper, neighborhood babysitter, and/or daycare center may take some time, trial, and error. But if you develop a network of people available to pitch in, you’ll be less stressed when (inevitably) plans go awry and you need to find someone quick.

Be Frank With Your Employer
Don’t make a secret of your scheduling requirements. Let your boss know what your constraints are, whether it’s leaving at a certain time to pick up your child from school, or taking off the first Tuesday of every month for sports-related demands. Offer up how you intend to make up the time, and stick to your promises.

Catch Up During Lunch Breaks
Use lunch breaks to tackle paperwork and errands, such as picking up a prescription, posting a letter, filling out school paperwork, making doctor appointments, writing a list of questions for your parent/teacher conference, calling your own mother, etc.

Have Everything Delivered
Technology saves time and often money, too. Arrange for your dry cleaning and laundry to be picked up and dropped off at your home. Do your food shopping online and have it brought to your door. Shop for gifts on the internet, where many vendors offer gift-wrapping and free direct delivery to the recipient. Take care of as may errands as possible during the week so that you can play with your kids on the weekend, rather than drag them around to stores.

Set Up A Schedule
Set up a large calendar in a centrally-located area where everyone can write in their schedules, from travel-team games, PTA meetings, project due dates, special events, trips to the physician, etc. Every Sunday, review the calendar with the whole family to make sure all arrangements for travel and childcare can be met.

Roll With It
For busy working parents, balance is always a challenge. Worrying that you’re not handling it well is part of the process. Life is imperfect, messy, and your time as an active working parent is (relatively speaking) brief. Strive to accept the limitations of time and energy and don’t berate yourself if you feel you’re falling short. Remember, tomorrow is another day.

The holidays are supposed to be warm, glorious periods of reconnecting with friends and family, embracing gratitude, and enjoying the sights, scents, and unique sensibilities of the season. But the increased expectations, heightened frenzy of events, and unwitting pressure to be merry and bright can exacerbate depression and especially anxiety.

With the holidays on the way, how can you prepare for the inevitable stress?

Take Control Of Your Schedule
Gatherings with family and friends can be lovely, but if the amount of social obligations is choking you, consider paring them down. You don’t have to attend every party to which you’re invited. You may annoy a relative or two, but you can always promise another meet-up when the busy holidays have passed. Your mental health deserves consideration. ‘No’ is a very liberating word.

Also reconsider all expectations. Just because you threw a fabulous dinner party during the last holiday season doesn’t mean you’re obligated to throw one this year. If the neighborhood crowd still wants to get together, maybe it’s time for someone else to host the event.

Plan Ahead
During the holiday season, you’re likely to spend a lot of time hunting down gifts for your family and friends and holiday exchanges. If the crush of the shopping mall gives you anxiety, consider the many options to browse online. Also start a gift list and shop early. Those who complete their gift-buying by Thanksgiving remove a lot of stress from the winter holidays.

Don’t Overindulge
Food and drink tend to flow during the holidays, but over-indulging is likely to make you feel worse in the long run. Lowering anxiety means keeping on an even keel, so consider making a concerted effort to limit your alcohol and rum-ball intake during those holiday parties.

Keep Up The Good Workout
Although it may be hard, maintaining a regular sleep and exercise schedule can also help lessen anxiety during the holiday season. Your body needs the endorphins to lower cortisol and adrenaline and thus keep anxiety at bay.

Anticipate Friction
The most difficult source of holiday anxiety isn’t always about over-scheduling and overindulging. Just getting together with family can stir up a lot of conflicted feelings.

If you have unresolved, underlying issues with people you only see during the holidays, you’re likely to become anxious about the inevitable contact during the season. No amount of preparation can shield you from every difficult situation, but you can control how you react to it.

It’s good advice to keep your expectations low and embrace the spirit of kindness and charity. Few big issues are ever resolved in high-stress, compressed-time gatherings. If you must attend an event that is likely to erupt, prepare for the possibility of escape if anxiety reaches a fever pitch.

Easing anxiety during the holiday season doesn’t just have to be about cutting back on social events and obligations. Another way to lessen stress is to plan to do more of what you love, whether it be cooking, getting a quick coffee with an old friend, or singing in a choir. Joy is a wonderful antidote to anxiety.

Even the most independent of children can become grumpy or defiant when faced with going to school for the first time, or returning after a long holiday. Some kids may even complain of stomachaches, cling to your knee, or cry at the prospect, regressing to those terrible tantrums of their toddler years.

If your child is expressing strong feelings that she doesn’t want to go to school, check out these tips.

Listen To Your Child
First-day-of-school and back-to-school jitters are perfectly normal reactions to a change in daily life. It’s a rare child who doesn’t experience them at some point during their developmental drive toward independence. However, children may become anxious for different reasons, so the first step toward helping them begins with empathic listening.

It’ll take patience and time to encourage your child to talk about what is at the root of their worries. They may not want to admit that there’s a mean kid at school, but if an outside situation like bullying is the cause for their reluctance to go to school, it should be addressed as promptly as possible by checking in with the teacher and/or school counselor.

Drill Down To The Details
Children might refuse to go to school for any number of reasons. It’s important to acknowledge their fear and then offer ways to help.

If there’s a new baby in the house, they may be jealous that their sibling will be the focus of all your attention while they’re away. Reassure them of your love, and set aside a special time to give them your undivided attention.

If a child is entering a new classroom, they may be worried about whether they can make friends. Role play several social situations so they can practice introducing themselves and initiating friendship.

Others may worry that they won’t be able to keep up with the academic work. Setting up a study schedule or getting a jump on classroom reading can help a child concerned about academic stresses.

Keep To The Routine
Though your child may wake up every morning determined to avoid school attendance, it’s important to hold fast to the routine. An attitude of calm, patience, and affection can go a long way in assuaging their fears and getting them out the door. If the child is legitimately sick, make sure the sick day doesn’t turn into an extended play-day, giving them another reason to want to stay home.

Some children may experience crippling anxiety that extends into sleepless nights, nightmares, bed wetting, an intense fear of being alone, and an absolute refusal to go to school. If the worries don’t ebb with time, you may want to speak with a mental health professional experienced in the special care of young children.

Parenting is a skill we all learn on the fly. Unless you’ve studied early child development or logged in epic hours of babysitting preschoolers, very little of what we absorbed in our pre-parenting years prepares us for the unexpected surprises that come with raising a child.

So it’s natural to worry if you notice that your child remains mute while his same-aged cousin babbles on in complete sentences. it’s understandable you may have concerns when your toddler seems unintelligible while his classmates appear to articulate like budding orators. Yes, children reach developmental milestones at different rates…but how can you tell if your child has a speech delay?

Late Talkers
Some kids just take a little more time to talk. Before you worry, first consider whether your child fits into one of these categories.

• Children raised in a bilingual household will often take a little longer to reach speech developmental markers due to the complexity of absorbing both languages. Later, they’ll likely have more verbal dexterity because of their bilingualism.
• Younger siblings of large families will often take their time becoming fluent, perhaps because their older siblings pipe up to speak for them.
• Research has shown that sometimes boys tend to take longer to develop fluent speech than girls.
• Hearing problems in children can affect speech and language development.

Speech Developmental Milestones
The first three years of life are when speech and language develop most intensely, so educators as well as speech-language pathologists hope to see children reach certain milestones by age three. Young children pass through critical periods of development when it comes to speech and language, so early detection and intervention is critical.

By age one, children should:

• Say “mama” and “dada” in reference to their respective mother and father.
• Imitate sounds they hear by babbling.
• Turn at the sound of your voice, and achieve rudimentary communication, such as through pointing or waving “bye”.
• Respond to one-word commands like ‘come’ or ‘up’

By age two, children should:

• Respond to simple commands and directions, like “where’s your toy?” or “Put it there.”
• Enjoy rhymes and songs, and point to some things you name in books.
• Make two-word sentences, like “more juice.”
• Continue to learn new words. Ideally, by 18 months, your child will know at least 20 words.

By age three, children should:

• Speak well enough to be understood by others beside you.
• Have names for most things.
• Use tougher consonants such as f, g, k, n, d, and t.
• Use three-word sentences.

There are multiple ways to help your young child develop his language and communication skills. Talk your way through the day so he or she will be exposed to lots of language. Read to your children, sing to them, and repeat familiar nursery rhymes.

If you feel, despite all your best efforts, that your child is not acquiring speech and language skills in locks-step with his peers, talk to your doctor about your concerns. They’ll likely recommend you to a speech and language therapist or a developmental specialist who’ll put you on the path toward certainty and treatment.

Someday, your child may be thrilled by the promise of fresh notebooks, the heft of a brand new backpack, and the cinnamon scent of pencil shavings. But if they’re just starting school, or venturing into a new school, they’re more likely to be jittery and unsettled by all the preparations.

Just like their parents.

Going to school is a big transition for everyone, so it’s absolutely normal to be anxious about the Big Day. Check out these simple, effective ways to cope.

Listen To Your Child’s Worries
Any transition into the unknown can cause anxiety, but coping with those feelings starts with pinning down the sources. The weeks that precede the first day of school are a great time to listen to your child and gently encourage them to articulate their worries.

Younger children often fear that the teacher will be mean, the children won’t like him, or he’ll have a bathroom accident in the classroom. Older kids may worry about whether they’ll fit in, be able to handle the work, or find their way around a new school. Once you get to the heart of your child’s worries, you can help tackle them, one by one.

Visit The School
If your child expresses worries about the space, try to arrange a visit ahead of time. Teachers often arrive at least a week before opening day to arrange their classrooms and lesson plans, so you may be able to schedule a quick meet-and-greet. Practicing the morning ritual of getting up, dressed, fed, and to school can also help ease anxiety when the Big Day arrives.

Role Play
Some children may be worried about facing a whole classroom full of kids they don’t yet know. What if one of them is mean? How is she going to make friends? By role playing through such situations, you can help coach your child in ways to defuse uncomfortable situations and initiate new friendships.

Emphasize The Positive
Worries can crowd the mind and push out good thoughts altogether. Encourage your child to find something to look forward to, whether it’s cracking open that new box of crayons, wearing a new pair of sneakers, or playing in the school playground.

Be Calm, Cool, And Collected
Parents are naturally anxious about this important transition in a child’s life. As natural as your anxiety is, the best thing you can do is empower them to take charge of their feelings. Children take cues from their parents, so it’s important to model the kind of calm and surety that you want your children to feel.

After all, the best gift we can give our kids, especially during anxious times, is a sense of confidence and empowerment.

Let’s face it, New York City is a stressful place. The cost of living is high, the pace is frenetic, the cabbies are always honking, and the crowds can be overwhelming. Add in a summer of tourists, hundred-degree days, and ninety-percent humidity, and of course your anxiety level is going to rise.

Take a long, cleansing breath and rid yourself of all those exhaust fumes. Then consider these five ways to stay stress-free this summer in the Big Apple.

Seek Out Silence
Noise can be very grating and contribute to our stress and anxiety levels. It’s very difficult to avoid some level of noise in the city. In fact, Midtown South comes out on top in terms of filed complaints and overall noise pollution in Manhattan. Cars, crowds, and construction are unavoidable, though you may find some relief in neighborhoods with fewer noise complaints like the Upper East Side, or away from the street-edges of Central Park.

A better and more geographically neutral solution is to create your own oasis of calm. Use earbuds, whether you’re listening to music or not. If you do prefer to listen to music, choose tunes that are calming rather than raucous. Consider listening to the ambient noise of lapping waves during your morning walk to the subway, or turn your commute into a gentle meditation while listening to water running over rocks.

Seek Out Space
Times Square in July may not be the best place to go if you’re looking to relieve stress. There are too many tourists and too many Elmos vying for attention. Instead, seek out the less-tourist-popular wide-open spaces of the outer boroughs if you need to stretch out your arms without hitting anyone. Consider the Brooklyn Botanical Garden, the Bronx Zoo, the Flushing Meadows Corona Park in Queens, or the 250-acre New York Botanical Garden in the Bronx.

Seek Out Air Conditioning
If the heat and humidity are causing you anxiety, you don’t have to leave the city to find some relief. Plenty of public spaces offer a respite from the worst of a heat wave. Consider taking a ride on the Staten Island Ferry, popping in to the Oculus downtown, wandering through the Chelsea Market, admiring the ceiling of the Grand Central Terminal, ordering a coffee at the Atrium at Lincoln Center, or spending an hour or two in one of the many local art museums.

Seek Out Exercise
Regular, vigorous exercise is a great stress-reducer. If you can’t stand the idea of running through a sweaty afternoon, consider waking up a little early to jog before the full heat of the day. If you’ve got a gym membership, now’s the time to take advantage of the air conditioning to get some strength training done. If money is tight, check out these places in NYC where you can drop in to a class and work out for $25 or less.

Seek An Escape
A getaway is the perfect way to shake off the stress of day-to-day city living. Consider hopping on a train north to the Hudson Valley for the many craft and music festivals that take place along the river. Check out the Hot Air balloon festival in Rhinebeck, the Putnam County Wine & Food Festival, or the Hudson Valley Brassroots Festival in Kingston. If you don’t want to wander too far from the city, there’s always Coney Island, Brighton Beach, and the Rockaways.

Learning to cope with everyday stress is a vital life skill, but sometimes it can be overwhelming. If you need help dealing with anxiety that is affecting your quality of life, never hesitate to contact a mental health professional.

In June, July, and August, it’s hot in New York City! There’s a reason why many residents decamp for weeks to lakeside houses in the Catskills or Adirondacks, or spend the most sweltering of summer days on Rockaway Beach, Coney Island, or Jones Beach. But for migraine sufferers, humidity and atmospheric changes brought on by sudden storms can be a trigger to hours of intense pain. In fact, medical researchers have recently determined that increases in temperature are the number one weather-related trigger for migraines.

So how can you deal with your migraines while in New York City?

Hydrate!
High heat means a loss of fluids and electrolytes through sweating and evaporation. Between dehydration and a change in body chemistry, summer can be the worst season for migraine sufferers.

To lower the risk of an attack, consider exercising during the early morning or late evening hours, when the heat is at its minimum. Remember, too, to hydrate with water and, if you find yourself sweating profusely, drink plenty of fluids that contain electrolytes.

Keep To A Routine!
Summer often means a change in your regular schedule, whether you’re a college student home between semesters, or an at-home parent who suddenly has idle children about. Even full-time workers can find their schedule shifted if you’re allowed Summer Fridays off or late morning arrivals.

The subsequent changes in your eating pattern can cause blood-sugar surges or ebbs. Disrupted sleep patterns due to the lengthening days or changes in your schedule can do the same. For many people, these are common triggers.

To stave off migraines due to these shifts in routine, try to keep to a steady schedule despite the changes going on around you.

Watch The Weather!
There’s nothing you can do to stave off heat, humidity, or changes in atmospheric pressure, but you can be prepared for them. Avoid as much as possible being outside during sticky heat waves. Stay in air-conditioned places if you find that helps. If changes in atmospheric pressure are one of your stronger triggers, make sure you have your medications with you at all times and keep an eye on the skies (or your weather app) for upcoming storms.

Air Pollution Indexes
Although researchers have not found conclusive evidence to say that air pollution is strongly associated with a risk of migraines, they have noted that car exhaust fumes that contain nitrogen oxide can increase the risk of headaches overall. It’s still a good idea to avoid exposure if possible.

If pollution or allergens are triggers for you, keep an eye on the air quality index and be prepared if you have to venture outside. Make sure, too, that you frequently change filters in your air conditioner system if you have one, so that you at least can breathe freely at home.

It’s almost impossible to avoid all weather-related triggers if you’re a migraine sufferer living in Manhattan, so be sure your medications are up-to-date and you’re taking them properly. Some migraine medications only work if you take them at the first twinge of an oncoming attack, so always be sure to understand how your particular prescriptions work and take them as recommended.